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Quote of the Day - Jury: a group of twelve men who, having lied to the judge about their hearing, health and business engagements, have failed to fool him. - H.L. Mencken
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How Not To Get Out Of Jury Duty

Jury duty. It strikes fear in the hearts of most Americans, and is always followed by the question, how do I get out of it?

Well, friends and neighbors, not like this. Our heroine today called in "stressed out," and failed to show up for the trial where she sat as an alternate juror.

The Judge was not pleased. Circuit Judge Thomas Clark sent his deputy to find her and bring her to court.

He then instructed the jury (the same one she was sitting on) to sentence her. Ouch. The choices: (1) one day in jail; (2) a return trip to the jury pool next week; or, (3) a sentence of sitting somewhere in the courthouse for the rest of the trial.

The jury picked Door Number 2 and Door Number 3.

But wait, we didn't hear the excuses. First, let's get this out of the way. She was a juror in a murder trial. Ok. Now the stage is set.

The recalcitrant juror said that she didn't want to view crime scene and autopsy photos, that she had an asthma attack the night before and that she was worried about her mother in a nursing home. No one on the jury bought any of them - probably because they were sitting for jury duty, and she wasn't. Who better to sentence her than fellow jurors?

The moral of the story? Cross those off your list of excuses to get out of jury duty.

Or, don't serve on a murder trial in Missouri if you're squeamish.

Printer friendly page Permalink Email to a friend Posted by J. Craig Williams on Friday, July 09, 2004 at 17:52 Comments Closed (0) |
 
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