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Quote of the Day - I was born in Harlem, raised in the South Bronx, went to public school, got out of public college, went into the Army, and then I just stuck with it. - Colin Powell
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How To Get Sued Goes To Hollywood in The Bronx

New York is just full of oxymorons.  No kidding - I really mean it.  Not the moron part, though. Just the oxy part.  Think about it for a minute.

First, there's the Sopranos.  They're supposed to be mafiasos, but they're named for women singers?  That's what not tough guys are called.  Come on.  I'm talkin' to yu.  Ah, fagheddaboudit.

Then we've got Wall Street.  It's not a wall and it's not a street  It's not even a walled street.  It's a stock exchange.  Sure it's on an avenue called Wall Street, but that's about as close as it gets.  It's more like having Las Vegas in the Big Apple.  

Next we have the universal "welcome to America" symbol, but it's really from France.  We didn't even make it ourselves.  What kind of welcome is that?  Frankly, it's more like a hostess gift if you ask me.

Ok, can we talk about those 26 miles?  It's nothing but a scheme of constant gridlock - and I thought LA was bad.  We don't even have a workable subway system and I can get twice as far in half the time even though everyone in LA owns a car.  No one I talked to in Manhattan owns one, but for sure there's no shortage of taxi cabs.  You haven't lived, though, until you've heard a Pakistani cab driver curse out someone who cut him off.  It's a ten-minute tirade of entertainment, in itself worth the ride.  And I didn't even have to go to Broadway.

I've picked on Gotham enough already, but indulge me with one more:  food.  Admittedly we have our fair share of fruits, nuts twigs and berries out on the Left Coast, but what about those stainless steel carts on every Downtown, Midtown and West Side street corner?   There's nothing that even comes close to healthy fare on those things, despite what the city permit may say.  I know.  I've looked.  It's just fried, yellow food, that's grilled together with more deep-fried food.  Nothing green is even in sight. 

There's the reason there's 26 miles of clogged arteries. 

Last but not least, we have the girls who popularized Cosmopolitan-drinking foursomes of women whose idea of a nature walk is to drive around Central Park in a horse carriage.  Really.  Here's a woman who wonders why she can't get married - but when she spots a $750 pair of Jimmy Choos in a sidewalk window responds with, "Hello, lover."

I rest my case.

Now that I've thoroughly bashed almost everything New Yorkers hold near and dear, let me redeem myself.  After the media lunch, it was off to the Lehman College in the Bronx, where fellow lawyer David Lesch records Bronx Legal, a half-hour television interview featured on four channels of Manhattan's cable system.  I'm honored that David invited me on the show.  He's the consummate lawyer, easy to make friends with and a great interviewer.

On a show he recorded earlier in the summer, he invited Dr. Nancy, a dentist regularly featured on the Early Show to talk about the bone-dry topic of dentist recordkeeping requirementsDuring David's interview of her, however, we learn that they've seen each other socially, and even dated.  Then, without much warning, he whips out a small black box, pulls out a Rock (capitalization intentional), and pops the question.  She's shocked, and reacts with a ....

Well, just click on the video icon below and watch for yourself.  No fair fast-forwarding, though.

Printer friendly page Permalink Email to a friend Posted by J. Craig Williams on Sunday, August 24, 2008 at 18:36 Comments Closed (0) |
 
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